Royal Pain
by DF-chan
Summary: Being a royal was a pain for Hiccup. (Not a good english, Royal AU, The Big Four participation, hard-OOC, slash, one-sided crushes, one secret crush, love-triangle and crappy humor.)


**.Royal Pain.**

**SUMMARY:** Being a royal was a pain for Hiccup.

**WARNINGS:** ENGLISH FROM A FOREIGNER! (Just so you knew).This one-shot is a Royal AU and contains: The Big Four, very OOC characters, slash, one-sided crushes, one secret crush, love-triangle and crappy humour.

**A/N:** You know that type of fics that you want to write so much that you write it and threw in it everything you wanted and a bunch of additional info too. This is this type of fic. This bunnyplot was bugging me all the last month. I finally finished it. And asked my current Beta in HTTYD fandom to beta it (she is such a sweetheart for agreeing! 3). But I changed a few tiny little details here, so there are still mistakes. And they are blamed on me.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, nor Rise of The Guardians. (I'm not that awesome... D;)

**BETA:** _I.F.T.S_ (who totally rocks~)

* * *

"You know that it's useless to hide here?"

Prince Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third jumped, hitting his royal head against some fancy shield that decorated his hideout. He cursed colorfully when his leg caught on his ridiculously long imperial cape and he tumbled down. He would have received an undesired reconstruction of his nose (probably making him look a little more like his cousin Sir Snotlout), if not for the two pair of hands that caught him before his royal face met the rock floor.

"It was a perfect hideout, until you _**three**_ showed up!" the young man grumbled, green eyes glaring from under the flop of auburn hair at the people around him.

"You know you love us, Your Clumsiness."

Hiccup rolled his eyes at the grinning young woman in front of him. Lady Astrid, the young lady-in-training and vicious Viking shield maiden stood before him, dressed in a dazzling sky blue dress with leather strappings decorating her waist and arms. With her braided hair shining with the color of sun, and light blue-grey eyes that seemed to look right through you, she was a beauty to behold. Quite literally actually, because Hiccup knew for sure that there was at least one axe hidden on her persona, among other weaponry.

"Why, oh why, did you need to come?" Hiccup sighed, as he was straightened and put on his feet.

"Aw, don't be so glum, little Prince!" Person at his right pinched his cheek.

"Yea', cheer up party boy! Don't let yar fatha' see ya like that." Person at his left chuckled.

Hiccup shot a look at two other young women by his sides. Princess Rapunzel, a royalty from the Kingdom of Corona, stood at his right, smiling brightly with her sparkling green eyes, a shade similar to his own pair. With her short dark brown hair and peach colored skin, she and him could be mistaken for the relatives. Well only now, because a year ago instead of her brown locks adorning her head – there was a flow of golden glowing hair that reached floor of the next room. Oh, and with the ability to heal to boost. The story of their loss involved a crazy witch, a sarcastic thief, a travel through the kingdom and a chameleon. And a frying pan. Let's just say that the adventure definitely fitted the brave, cheery and a little air-headed young woman. True to her unusual and creative nature, she was dressed in a homemade light-pink body corset and a light-purple skirt. Instead of her required crown, she wore a flower chain, made from the flowers she gathered in royal gardens.

On the other hand –errr, side- there was Princess Merida (well, actually now she resembled a Prince). The fiery red-headed blue-eyed daughter of the Scotland King and Queen, Fergus and Elinor DunBroch, always had issues with her princesshood. More specifically – she didn't really wanted to be an all proper princess and she and her mother had a huge argument about that not a half a year ago. Which involved the Queen turning into a bear, and fighting an ex-human-turned-into-wild-blood-thirsty-bear, for them to come to understanding. Let's say that the Queen now was much more accepting and patient of her daughter's antics and Merida now knew that her mother cared (sometimes too much) and wished all the best for her. Though, it didn't really stop her from being herself. As if to prove it, Merida was standing in front of him looking not like herself. Instead of the usual dress, she was wearing in a pair of dark green leggings and a pale golden tunic that reached her tights, with a heavy dark green cape on her shoulders and her wild red hair tied into a tight braid – the young woman looked like a very feminine young man.

"My father is exactly the reason for my current state." Hiccup gestured at himself and Astrid laughed, "You just gestured at all of you."

"Exactly!" Hiccup nodded, because his father was really at fault at his current condition.

Dressed in his formal clothes, instead of his usual plain attire, the Prince of Viking Kingdom Berk looked absolutely…_**ridiculous**_. A new tunic of rich green color that was trimmed by a golden thread, with a leather belt adorned by a golden buckle that hugged his thin waist. A new pair of dark grey leggings on his gaunt legs were tucked into a pair of fur boots. On his scrawny shoulders there was a long, heavy, fur cape held by a pair of golden clasps. And the most noticeable feature was a traditional horned helmet of the Viking, that was hooked into his belt (because no matter how he loved his father, he still wasn't sure he wanted to wear his mother's… _**breastplate**_ on his head).The clothes were made by the best tailors, from the finest materials and the Royal Prince felt himself too uneasy and clumsy in the unusual-for-him attire.

The Royal Prince was dressed in those clothes because his father – the King of Viking Kingdom Berk, Stoick the Vast – decided to organize a ball for his seventeen-year-old son, Hiccup. The man did his best in organizing the ball and invited all their allies into their kingdom-slash-island, for he organized this ball-

"Aw, loosen up Hiccup! Your father worked so hard to prepare the ball! He wanted you to have fun!" Rapunzel tilted her head with a smile.

"'_Fun'_? 'Have fun'?! 'Zel, he wants to get _**rid**_ of me! He wants me to get _**married**_!"

-to gather the suitors, to find among them someone who will get his son's hand and heart.

Poor Hiccup grabbed his auburn locks, groaning in misery. "Mer, at least you should know how I feel myself about this whole thing, Queen Elinor tried to do the same with you!" the distressed teen turned to the DunBroch, who just shrugged with a smile.

"Well, gettin' married wasn't mah' destiny, but who knows? Maybe its yars."

"Yes, destiny, right. This thing that made my life a misery from the very beginning." The Royal Prince deadpanned, then threw his head to yell at the ceiling, "Thank you, you useless thing! Thank you very much!" He then stomped into the hall that was filled by the guests from every corner of the world.

"If it's that bad, maybe we can ask Camicazi to start courting you?" Astrid followed him, snickering slightly. "She will be happy to have you at her disposal 24/7."

Hiccup gasped and twirled around to point at her. "You suggest sentencing me into an abusive marriage! How _**dare**_ you _**Lady**_ Astrid!"

"Oh, shut up drama-prince." The blonde snapped, annoyed at his 'Lady' call, for she was more a true Viking in her soul, then a lady.

"Or maybe, Flynn will be happy to help you!" Rapunzel chirped, twirling her dress as she walked. She blinked at Hiccup when he looked at her mortified. "What? He will be happy to help."

"If your _**fiancé**_ gets close to me, I swear I will sic twins at him." Hiccup threatened seriously, and Merida burst out laughing.

"Ya're still mad 'bout 'dat time?!" Rapunzel immediately recalled what Merida was talking about and started laughing too, leaving Astrid blinking at them curiously, "What happened?"

Merida ignored Hiccup's protests as she turned to the blonde, "Oh, 'dat was so funny. 'Dis spring, when Hic' and I visited 'Zel, we dressed Hic' as 'Zel and-"

"Mer! You promised it will stay between us!" Hiccup meantime wailed, scaring all the nearest guests and sending them scrambling away from the loud four.

"And when we left him in the gardens for somebody to mistake him for me," Rapunzel picked up, giggling madly, "Flynn found him and thought it was me-"

"And tried to kiss Hic'!" Merida added with a big grin and Hiccup groaned when he saw a very amused and evil grin appeared on Astrid's face.

"Oh, I always thought that you would look cute with Tuffnut, but I think Flynn is a good candidate too." The blond cackled evilly, and Hiccup wished someone would come and stop all of this-

"Good candidate for what?"

Astrid, Merida and Rapunzel exchanged looks before bursting out laughing.

Hiccup turned to glare at the brunet male standing behind him, dressed in a white tunic and fancily decorated vest, in pants with high leather boots on his legs. Flynn Rider blinked at them confusedly, but immediately pulled his 'charming knight' posture. "Well, I didn't know you were interested Princess Merida, Lady Astrid. It looks like you have a competition, Rapunzel." He wiggled his eyebrows at females, which resulted another burst of laughter.

"I-I t-think H-h-hiccup here is a more of t-t-threat." Astrid whizzed through her laughing, leaning against crazily giggling Rapunzel.

Flynn raised an eyebrow, glancing at Hiccup, before his confused expression turned into one of mortification, "Oh- wait- wha-? Okay listen, it wasn't my fault that time- and er- If you are still thinking about that Hiccup, just- eh, I know that I'm handsome, but really, sorry, you are not my taste. Well not that I'm saying that I don't like brunets or green eyes, but really, you know that I like you not in _**that**_ way, so I hope I don't hurt your feelings or anything-"

Flynn continued to babble and girls were already crying from laughing so hard. Hiccup lunged forward catching Flynn by the collar of his fancy vest, and despite Flynn being older by three years and fairly bigger than him, he brought the other's male face close and whispered furiously, "Shut up Eugene, before I call Maximus here!"

"No! Not that evil horse- and wait don't call me that!" Flynn-slash-Eugene whispered back, glancing around checking if somebody heard his real name. "I didn't know that was _**you**_ when I told this!"

Hiccup smirked and released the taller male. Well at least from that incident with dressing up allowed him to have a great blackmail material on the cocky ex-thief and now boyfriend of his closest friend.

"Well, Eugene ("Flynn!"), it was a revenge for that attempt to grope me. Be glad I didn't report at you for cheating on your fiancée and molesting foreign royalties."

Flynn groaned, "Okay-okay, I get it. I'm sorry your Fancy Majesty." He did a mock bow towards the smaller male.

"So yar' 'make up, make out' session 's over?" Merida snickered, already calm, while Rapunzel and Astrid straightened themselves out, still giggling. "Though, Hic' and 'Zel had forgave ya for 'dat incident, I, did not."

"But it was your fault from the beginning!" Flynn gasped accusingly. "It was yours idea!"

"Well, ma'be yes, ma'be not." Merida smirked, and whistled through her teeth. "But yar punishment 's waitin' for ya'."

A sound of little feet stomping and angry yells that followed, resulted Flynn to pale.

"Oh, no-no-no-no-no-" Flynn turned, ready to run, but he was tackled by three red blurs.

"Harris, Hubert, Hamish – say hello to your favorite Sir Flynn." Rapunzel sang, patting Merida's little brothers on heads. "He said he will play with you a little." The triplet boys cheered and high-fived each other and shooting sly looks at the male under them.

"Wait." Hiccup called out for the boys and Flynn lifted his eyes in hopes that other is going to save him, "I think I saw Tuffnut and Ruffnut sneaking into the kitchens. Maybe they will want to play with you too?" He smiled sweetly at them and they eagerly nodded, somehow hauling a mortified Flynn on his legs and dragging him by his pants towards the kitchens. Rider, tried to squirm away, but a stern (and very evil and highly amused) look from his fiancée stilled him. Whimpering, Flynn resigned himself to his fate. Because while he could tolerate at some extent the triplets type of games, the combine force of the triplets AND the Viking twins was something he won't wish upon any of his enemies. He still had nightmares after the last time.

As Flynn was dragged away, Merida laughed, "Yar' sur' an one vengeful Prince."

"And to think when he was little, he couldn't harm a fly." Astrid smirked.

"Behind this 'hiccup' façade, I'm an evil master mind who is planning to overtake the world, just you see." Hiccup puffed out his scrawny chest.

A sudden noise and neighing stopped the girls' giggles. A beautiful white stallion with a formal blue and silver cape decorating his powerful back, burst in front of them, swinging his golden mane from side to side, before noticing the four teenagers in front of him and giving a somewhat embarrassed bow.

"Hello Maximus!" Rapunzel greeted the horse warmly, who pointed at her and made a stupid face before swinging his head around. "Oh, Flynn? He just left to play with Merida's brothers and the twins."

There was a pause, before the horse snorted hysterically, nudging his head toward Hiccup and Merida, who chuckled in return.

"Yea', yar charge 's in 'good' hands right now, ya can relax big guy." Merida patted the horse on his back. "Ya know Angus 's down 'dere in 'de gardens, ya two can catch up with each other." She grinned when the horse nodded, for he really did like the clever stallion, whose rider was this fiery red-headed archer. Dipping his head in respect for the three royals and a lady in front of him, Maximus trotted away.

Astrid whistled quietly. "Still can't get used to this horse. He is cleverer than most of our people. Fishlegs tried to find out why is he smarter than any other horse. I think he broke his brain trying to figure it out."

"He is just very special." Rapunzel shrugged, quite used to Maximus' antics. "But it was fun to look how Fishy stalked Maximus around."

"Well, I think we need to go into the main hall. More guests arrived, judging by the sounds." Astrid turned to look towards the archway that leads into the main hall.

"More?" Hiccup groaned. "I thought everybody already arrived, at least the main guests." He gestured at Merida and Rapunzel. "Camicazi is somewhere tormenting Princes and Princesses from South continent too, and I don't remember any other names in the lists."

Astrid shifted her gaze and shrugged. "Well, your father invited someone else, to surprise you."

Hiccup froze. Astrid was hesitant. Another surprise. Oh no.

"He invited the royalties from North and East."

"…Don't tell me… Burgess…and… Reiret*?" Hiccup asked in a small voice.

Astrid winced a little guiltily. "Yes."

"Oh, nononononononononononono- " Hiccup shook his head. "Please, don't tell me he invited-"

A gust of cold wind interrupted him, storming through the hall, lifting a few skirts and reaping away hats, and twirled around their group.

"_Pleasebenothimpleasebenothimpleasebenothim-"_

"Missed me?" a husky voice purred from behind Hiccup and a pair of cold hands snaked around the teen's frame.

Damn it, it was him.

The fair Prince-slash-Heir-slash-Guardian of the Kingdom of North, Jack –_freaking_- Frost himself, had his hands wrapped around Hiccup's middle, while slyly smiling down at the shorter male. The tall (he was a head taller than Hiccup! So _**unfair**_.) lean male was dressed in regal deep blue and icily grey robs, with a plain pale blue tunic and rich brown leggings underneath, that clung to his frame perfectly. His blindingly snow-white hair, brushed to the side and spiking like little pieces of icicles, were adorned by a plain diadem made from white gold and decorated with ice crystals. His sparkling diamond-like blue eyes and a sly half-smile, half-smirk that decorated his pale-pink lips contrasted on his almost pearly white skin, made all women from 13 to 30 swoon and sigh dreamily. All Jack Frost's being screamed 'Hey-baby-I'm-handsome-Prince-wanna-hang-out?' and any girl at its receiving state would have immediately leaped into the Prince's hands with a 'yes'.

Well, Hiccup definitely wasn't one of those…'girls'.

"No. Definitely not." Hiccup deadpanned, while inconspicuously trying to squirm out of the bigger male's grasp.

"Aw, you are breaking my heart darling." Jack Frost pouted and put his hand on top of Hiccup's head, rubbing his cheek against soft auburn locks.

"Oy! Keep yar hands to yar'self, Mr. Frost!" Merida smirked at the Ice Prince, who laughed mockingly at her.

"Oh, is that you Merida? Sorry didn't recognize you – you look so pretty today. Finally decided to hide your ugly figure? And what is with your hair? Somebody tried to shave you?" The young man said challenging with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Well, at least I didn't look like I just got hauled from the snow blizzard. Oh wait, you did!"

"Very funny, Carrot-head."

"Learned from the best, Icicle." Merida laughed, while Rapunzel tiptoed to Jack and Hiccup to kiss the Burgess Prince in the cheek in greeting, "Good to see you Jack! How were you?"

"Oh, it was so horrible! I missed Hiccup so much, during the time we were separated!" Jack hugged Hiccup even closer to his cool body, getting a round of giggles from Astrid and Merida and a grumble from Hiccup.

"We haven't seen each other for only a couple of months."

"They were the longest months in my life! Why are you so cold to me, Hiccup? Don't you love me?" He blinked his big blue eyes at Hiccup and the teen could swear he heard someone behind him gasp and a 'thump'.

Before Hiccup could have chance to retort (that no, he definitely didn't love him, because who will want to love a talking block of ice and arrogance?), he was wrenched from Jack's hands and lifted into the air by a pair of strong muscular hands.

"Back off, Snow Elf." Someone growled over him in a deep baritone and Hiccup saw Jack narrowed his eyes into two blazing with coldness slits. The hands around his chest tightened and the Viking Prince could feel with his back a heat of the other's chest.

Great, just great. Another one. They were _**both**_ here.

Tilting his head back, Hiccup saw his other captor. Wisps of jet-black hair adorned a dark-skinned face, with toxic green, almost beast-like eyes and thin bloody red lips curled into a snarl, showing off the sharp canine teeth of the tall, muscular male. The Crowned Prince and Member of Council of the Reiret Kingdom, The Night Fury (or Toothless, how he was called by his closest friends), looked quite pissed off at the Prince of Burgess Kingdom, if his heated glare was any evidence of that. Standing a half-of-head taller than Jack and dressed in a dark midnight blue and black robes over the black armor, and combined with his sun-tanned skin and hair, the Crowned Prince looked incredibly dark in contrast with others in the hall. But even that didn't hide the fine lines of his face and handsome features. One glare of those green eyes left many ladies blushing and squealing.

(A few more bodies joined the others on the floor.)

"Look who is here! Fish Breath decided to finally join us." Jack smiled slyly, his eyes hiding a threat.

"Unlike somebody, who spent his time freezing snot and moping around in his angst moments, I was busy ruling the Kingdom." The voice resonated through the chest of the Night and Hiccup could feel its vibrations with his back.

"Good to see you Prince Night Fury." Astrid smiled at the tall dark-haired male, and the man nodded back with mutual respect. The two of them were in good relations, after the hardship they and Hiccup had gone through. Merida and Rapunzel exchanged polite greetings with the dark Prince too, but the most of the Night Fury's attention was focused on the Ice Prince.

The blazing and coldness of their glares were tangible and Hiccup could practically see the tension ripping through the air between two royalties, but Hiccup could only sigh and hang his head with an annoyed groan. The two hindrances of his late teens in the one room - just wonderful!

It is not like he didn't like the two royalties from the foreign kingdoms, just…

He met the Prince Night Fury –Toothless- when he was fourteen; their kingdoms were at the war that lasted from the times of their ancestor. The problem was in the fact that Reiret Kingdom wasn't a simple kingdom of smash-it-warriors –oh no- it was a kingdom of animages or Shape Shifters; Shape Shifters that had the other shape as the most magical (and dangerous) one - the Dragons. There was no clear reason in the history books for their war; it was just known that as long as they lived, they fought each other. And Hiccup –scrawny and weak at those times, the runt of son of the King, the nuisance of the whole Kingdom – managed to shot one of their most formidable enemies (for the Night Fury's dragon form was one of the most deadliest and dangerous: dark as night and fire brighter than any sun, coupled with high speed and cunning strategies) and find out the real truth about the whole war.

When he found a shot down Shape Shifter, the male was dazed and confused, as if not understanding what was going on, and when Hiccup told him that it was him who shot him down from the skies (not the cleverest move, yeah he can admit), Toothless instead of attacking him, thanked him. It all worked out that the kingdom of Shape Shifters were enslaved and brainwashed into submitting their wills to the tyrant that overtook their kingdom many centuries ago. The creature that enslaved the race of Shape Shifters called herself the Red Death – the Queen of Shape Shifters, with the form greater than any – and decided to have some fun with neighboring kingdom of Berk, declaring the war at them and thus started the pointless bloodshed. Toothless, as the most magical and powerful species of Shape Shifters after the Red Death herself, wasn't completely brainwashed into obeying the Queen, that's why he never really did kill or raid the Berk Kingdom, he only worked as distraction and forbidding invisible opponent in the attacks. The force of Hiccup's bolas that knocked him out of the skies was enough to snap him out of the fog that trapped his mind, for what the Shape Shifter was immensely thankful.

The two Princes who knew the truth couldn't watch how their kingdoms continued the war that was the fault of the monster and joined their forces to fight the evil, but nothing worked as easily as they hoped. Hiccup's father, the King, didn't want to hear anything about their enemies being just puppets and using the chance to catch the Prince of Reiret Kingdom and bribe him for the surrender of the Queen. The Red Death, sneaky thing, lured the King of the Vikings and her heir back on the lands of Reiret Kingdom under the preposition to make a deal. The King, the ever self-confident one, agreed, thinking that the Queen will do anything to return her heir. But Hiccup knew that the Queen never really wanted to return Toothless, but to get rid of him and his father, so the teen tried to talk sense into the King, who just shrugged him off and left him back on their island, saying that Hiccup have no saying in this, after harboring the enemy.

And of course Hiccup didn't listen to his Father, because… well, he was Hiccup. He never listens to orders; he has attention of the sparrow after all.

Hiding in the ships was a pain, but trying to stay hidden as those who you care about getting caught in the hands of someone named 'The Red Death' was even harder. Somehow he managed to survive the whole capturing ordeal and sneak into the cages, where Toothless was kept, and then two of them set free his people. Somewhere along the way the Queen found out about this and next Hiccup knew he was flying on the back of his friend, avoiding the mass of the Dragon that called herself the Queen. But thanks to Hiccup's quick thinking and Toothless quick reflexes they managed to take down the monstrosity with minor loss. Like his left limb. But it was worth the peace between the two feuds and an entire Kingdom freed.

He and Toothless left to their respected Kingdoms, for it was the Night Fury's responsibility, as the successor, to return his Kingdom to its glory and erase the tyranny of previous ruler; and Hiccup was still the King's son and the Prince, but now a lot more loved and respected than before. There were not enough words for the Reiret Prince to thank the little Viking for what he did and when the Berk Prince just smiled through his pain haze and the babbling and flustered teary-eyed Toothless, the Shape Shifter declared that now he was in eternal debt of the young Viking; vowing that his life now belonged to Hiccup.

(Probably already then he should have suspected something.)

While his meeting with the Ice Prince -Jack Frost- was in much less extreme condition (at first) it was nevertheless as memorable.

When Hiccup turned fifteen, he was sentenced to the horror that every young man should go through in their Kingdom – the Initiation into the Real Man. The idea involved the teen-turning-into-man to pick up a journey – a quest – and successfully fulfill it; returning home with the head of the monster or indescribable treasure and with the stories, from which can be made legends for future generations to take example from. Apparently the stopped war and destroying the monster size of the mountain (fire-breathing mountain!) didn't count as the worth enough Quest (according to his Father, it was just a case… of Hiccupness), Hiccup needed to fulfill such Quest to be acknowledged as the man in his Kingdom. Because despite the obvious changes in his people's acceptance of him – he was still considered as a weakling and a child. And with that, the mighty Dragon Slayer Prince Hiccup, packed his things and traveled on the boat far to the North Lands, where everybody heard the stories about the wayward monsters that roam mountains.

What a nice travel it had promised to be. Not.

Because traveling to the North Lands (where magic was as common as hair on the head, thus resulting the name of their Kingdom – The Wonder Kingdom, The Kingdom of Burgess) and being stuffed into a sack and brought to the King and the Guardians (the main force of ruling in the Kingdom) and being told that he is to return the heir of the throne and their fellow Guardian that disappeared over thirty years ago under unknown circumstances as his Quest – was the very thing Hiccup had dreamed of. And when Hiccup politely tried to refuse (and he didn't beg the King to let him go. No, absolutely did not.), the King declared that his gut feeling was never wrong and that it was meant for him to accomplish this Quest.

So, a very reluctant and doubtful Hiccup packed up and in a company of young, overly-enthusiastic Magicians' apprentices (Young Jamie, Claude, Caleb, Monty, Pippa and Cupcake – the children who believed that a Prince that disappeared even before they were born – was still out there and alive) he traveled to the Cursed Frozen Lands, where the Prince was last heard of.

It wasn't really that bad. Of course a couple of clashes with bandits and other suspicious characters, rabid animals and magical and non-magical creatures (he still contact with some yetis at some point), the weather's oddities in form of random blizzards and hails – were just bond to happen, and with Hiccup's luck it was even more unsurprising. But random ghosts that seemed to run around the Cursed Lands – were definitely a surprise. Especially mischievous ghosts that have some kind of powers and are seen only by certain people; in their case it was children. But Hiccup got over that with minimum damage for his already maimed sanity, and somehow along the way the wayward spirit managed to help them with their Quest.

Hiccup couldn't believe that he had managed to find the Lost Prince (with the help of his companions and the ghost) frozen in a lake high in the mountains, and he it was definitely hard for him to believe that the said ghost… was the frozen Prince himself. Apparently the Prince was trapped there in the ice for thirty years, while his spirit was bound to the Frozen Lands to wander without any memory and unseen by everyone, except children. What Hiccup had gathered from the explanation of the overly-thankful Prince, he was caught and cursed by the black mage – Pitch Black – an enemy of the good magic and the Guardians of Burgess.

But of course returning the Prince couldn't be as easy as founding him (well… relatively speaking), and they just had to engage into a battle with the evil mage himself. Apparently Pitch Black wasn't very happy that his captive was freed and he showed it clearly by attacking the Kingdom of Burgess, somehow easily overthrowing the most powerful magicians and actually capturing the Guardians of the Magic and mortally wounding one of them. It required the very pissed off Prince in a teenager moody fit (and a team of children and one a very intelligent Viking) to trap the Evil Master Mind in his own magical trap; thus saving the Kingdom from the centuries in the dark.

Hiccup had suffered a stomach ache for three days after the celebrating feast (because there is _**always**_ a celebrating feast) and during those days he had bounded with the Prince that had decided to take care (annoy) him. Six day after, when Hiccup decided it was time to return home with the story of his Quest (and many-many gifts –including many… cookies?- from the thankful Kingdom), the Guardian-slash-Prince was very reluctant to let him go. In his attempts to make him stay Jack had offered him to become an unofficial part of Guardians – A Consultant of sort- but Hiccup refused, saying that his own Kingdom waited for him. The sad, but no more insisting Prince, promised that he would never forget and will visit him, before glomping him in a bone-crashing hug.

(And the fact that he didn't let go of him for a good twenty minutes was even more suspicious, now that he thinks about it.)

So he could say that he had good relationships with the both royals of North and East, but, well, apparently his _**friendship**_ with them was… one-sided.

Because it was just his luck that the two royals-

"Back off, Frostbite! Don't you dare lay your filthy hands on my Hiccup!"

"Filthy?! Says the one who is molesting him right now! And last time I checked he didn't belong to you, Scale butt!"

-had developed a _**crush**_ on him.

Oh, the joy and pain for being a royal subject of a royal crush, Hiccup mentally rolled his eyes as he was jostled in the hands of the Dark Prince.

"Our history and destines are entwined so tight, that we can be called belonged to each other. But why am I telling you this? Such a barbarian like you won't be able to comprehend our bond, Snowflake." Toothless said it with what could only be called a dramatic voice, pointing an accusing finger at the Winter Prince, while cradling Hiccup close to his chest.

"Okay, guys, this is getting ridiculous!-" Hiccup grumbled, trying to squirm away from the grasp, but was ignored.

"What kind of 'bond' could Hiccup form with an overgrown lizard? But well, never mind, probably we can allow a pet in our own castle." Jack just smirked, waving a hand on him dismissively and Toothless growled, barring his fangs on him. "You want a bow or a leash? I think both will work!"

Oh, no. It smelled like a war between the two magical creatures. "I am starting to think that this conversation turns into a wrong route. Seriously, guys." Hiccup raised his voice, searching with his eyes for Rapunzel, Merida and Astrid. Why the heck are they not stopping them?

"You are an insufferable brat! How dare you mock my origin! I am no pet! I am an honorable creature of magic! And what make you think that you will receive such an honor to share a living place with my Hiccup?"

"Hey, I'm my own person!" Hiccup couldn't help but snap, even if he knows that nobody is listening. He eyes caught a sight of giggling girls standing not too far away from them in the crowd of other new guests. Just. _**Great**_.

"Maybe because I'm the best choice? Face it, Scale Butt, an overgrown lizard is a bad choice for a husband." Jake snorts, before gesturing at himself with a cocky smirk, "When Hiccup has someone like _**this**_."

"Okay, this conversation is definitely starting to sound disturbing." Hiccup raised his voice in hopes that _**someone**_ (Yes he was looking at _**you**_ Merida!) will help him!-

"Someone like _you_? An adult stuck in a whinny stage of teen angst is a good choice for a husband?" Toothless laughed mockingly, waving his hand in a 'you-are-kidding' motion. "I would have let it slide if Hiccup had even a little hint of feelings for you, but what kind of feelings he can have, after what we had with each other." The man purred into Hiccup's ear, "I'm still dreaming about the times you _**rode**_ me, _**my**_ Hiccup…"

"I'm pretty sure you mean riding on your Dragon Form." Hiccup corrected automatically, a little numb from mortification.

Jack narrowed his eyes at Toothless, "I'm sure it was nothing comparing to the nights we spent together…" The Snow Prince stepped closer, and with fingers gently raising Hiccup's chin, grinning broadly at the smaller male who was sandwiched between two bodies, "How you made me feel _**hot**_ and that times I left you _**writhing**_ under me, every time…"

"That was because you keep falling asleep in my bed! Lying _**on top**_ of me!" Hiccup finally snapped, disturbed and embarrassed beyond measure. "And it's just sounded so plain wrong!" He wrestled furiously, both Princes stepped away from him because of the sudden angry movements.

"You two!" Hiccup whirled on his place, nearly falling because of his stupid cape, and pointed a finger at two Princes. "Stop it! It's always like this every time you met, ever since the first time!-" Hiccup threw his hands in the air, "Will you stop it and start acting like real Princes should?!"

Toothless, visibly sagged and bowed low to Hiccup, "I'm dreadfully sorry, darling Hiccup, but this Snowman here just has no manners-"

"Hey! You were the one who started it, groping Hic on public!" Jack bristled, pointing his stuff at the Shape-Shifter.

"I did _**not**_ grope him!-"

"Yeah, as if I believe you!-"

And the bickering started again. Hiccup facepalmed and dragged his hand over his face with a groan.

"Oh, they are just so adorable!"

"'Zeeeeeeeeeeeeel-"

"What?" Rapunzel smiled at Hiccup. "They are! Their fighting over your attention is cute!" Hiccup just groaned at the cheery brunet and glared at giggling Merida and Astrid, "You are not helping. At all."

"Just admit it Hiccup, you like the attention." Astrid wiggled her eyebrows at him, smirking all the way with a smug expression on her face.

Ohhhh, Hiccup knew it. She didn't even felt slightly apologetic for hiding away from Hiccup that two Princes were coming. She just enjoyed it too much.

Suddenly Merida stopped laughing, lifting her head and looking somewhere, "Oh crap! It's my mum!" The red-headed Princess ducked behind Astrid and took a hold of her shoulders, "Even if I want to stick 'round and see what will happen next, I need to go!" and with that the Princess dragged Astrid with her as she backed away into the crowd, "Have fun Hic'!"

"_Damn them both."_ Hiccup thought grimly, before noticing a strange color of Astrid's cheeks. _"Huh, why Astrid is blushing?.."_

"Ooohhh, snow!"

"What?!" Hiccup turned back to Rapunzel, noticing the sudden drop of temperature and fog from his breathing. "Oh, damn."

It looked like the two Princes decided that talking was useless and decided to turn to more direct approach. The staff in Jack's hands was glowing; snowflakes whirling around him in angry tornado, while Toothless' eyes changed into slits and his armor seemed to shift over his hands, turning into a sharp looking claws.

"No-no-no-no-no-" wailed Hiccup, noticing that guests around them quickly flee the scene. "_**Don't fight**_!" But he was ignored. Or most likely misinterpreted.

"Do not worry my Hiccup! I shall defeat the one who dared to taint your honor!" Toothless' voice now possessed inhuman growl in it, as he snarled at Jack.

"Yeah, don't worry Hiccup. You will have a nice pair of boots and belt after we are done." Jack smirked, his eyes ablaze with a glow as ice crept up his hands.

Hiccup wondered if his father had insured the furniture in the hall. Oh well.

The teen was ready to jump in between the two fighters, when they were stopped by two voices merged into one scream.

"_**Prince!"**_

Jack groaned and Toothless quickly stopped his transformation, both Princes visibly deflating as two figures appeared on the scene.

"Prince Night Fury! What is happening here?" A short plump woman with brown and purplish in the ends hair stared disapprovingly at the Dark Prince, as the young man grumbled something under his breath. The woman of thirty, dressed into a chocolate gown with gold and green jewelries, was part of Reiret Council. She was called Gronkle, but for her friends and those who was close to her she was known as-

"Meatlug! I was just defending Hiccup-"

"Don't Meatlug me, Mr. Prince." The woman said sternly, still staring at him with disapproval. "I'm more than sure that Prince Hiccup is capable of defending his own honor, without your interference."

It still amazed Hiccup, how such a short nice woman could stop such a warrior as Toothless. But he also knew that he shouldn't underestimate Gronkle, for her Dragon form was able to eat rocks, spit lava and crush boulders. Ouch.

"What the hell Frostbite! I left for a second and you already started a fight?!" meanwhile another newcomer yelled at Jack, who looked visibly bored with him. The man, tall with grey hair, but clearly not that old, probably the same age as Meatlug, growled at Jack who was considerably shorter than him. He was one of the five famous Guardians of Burgess Kingdom, part of the ruling system there – E. Aster Bunnymund; the magician who could turn into a giant rabbit, throw boomerangs with an aim of an archer, control earth and spat insults better than any sailors.

"For your information, it wasn't me who started it this time-"

"Oh, shut it Frostbite!" Aster snapped, "Your antics could result a war between Reiret and Burgess! Do you even use this thing between your shoulders?"

"Hey, that was mean, you overgrown Kangaroo!"

"I am not a kangaroo!"

Hiccup sighed in relief and irritation, "Thank gods! It's good to see you, Meatlug, Mr. Bunnymund."

"Bunny. You can call me Bunny, Prince Hiccup. I've told you before." Aster nodded to Hiccup, who smiled shyly back at the man.

"Your Majesty." Meatlug smiled sweetly at Hiccup, "It's good to see you too again. I saw your father over the west wing's hall; he was gathering suitors to start the contest."

Everybody perked at that, while Hiccup paled at this new piece of information.

"'Contest'? What contest?" The auburn-haired teen dreaded the answer.

"Why? Didn't your father tell you?" Meatlug tilted her head confusedly, "He announced that a contest is to be hold, to determine who is worthy enough for the proposal for your hand and heart!"

"_**What?!"**_

But Hiccup's outrageous squeak wasn't heard because of loud voices of two other Princes.

"I shall win this contest to show my true feelings for Hiccup, for everybody to see! You won't be able to compare with my greatness, Snowflake!" Toothless literally flamed up, turning into a magnificent black dragon and shooting in the direction of the west wing, knocking out with the aftershock of his flight the unsuspecting guests.

"You are on Scale Butt! But don't get into a hissy fit, when Hiccup will be in these hands!"Jack bristled and gripped his stuff, willing the wind to hurl him after the Shape-Shifter, knocking everybody else left after Toothless exit.

"Ohhhh _**gods**_- Whyyyy?" meanwhile wailed Hiccup looking up, searching for the mighty gods who were so fond of torturing him and were probably laughing at him now somewhere up in the Valhalla.

"Damn it, Jack!" Bunnymund snapped out of his 'what-the-hell-contest' stupor and sprinted after Jack, not really noticing that it only took him one leap to reach the exit of the hall, "Don't freeze anyone!"

"Oh my." Meatlug amusedly looked after them, as Rapunzel next to her grinned at Hiccup.

"It's going to be so much fun!"

* * *

It wasn't so much fun afterwards, Hiccup thought grumpily, as he entered the room filled with groans and whimpers of pain.

"Ohhhh, my leeeggg-"

"My poor wing joints…"

Well, maybe a little.

Hiccup wasn't sure if he should be amused by the sight of moaning and groaning Princes lying on the beds in the medical ward, or… even more amused knowing what caused them to be in this state.

"You did horrible, underestimating your opponent like that." Hiccup couldn't help the note of amusement that was obvious in his voice, even if his face was set in a usual sarcastic façade.

"Hiccup!" both males exclaimed jumping up and wincing at the sudden pain from the movements.

Hiccup grinned, knowing well enough how bad injuries inflicted by Camicazi could hurt. He had childhood experience after all.

"That girl! She is evil! Poor evil! Are you sure that she isn't an apprentice of Pitch's?" Jack groaned, nursing his purple colored leg.

"Or a spawn of Red Death's?" Toothless added from his place, in half-transformed state. His right wing wrapped up and with some green substance on it. "She sure is as vicious."

Hiccup couldn't help but snort at their overdramatic behavior. It was their fault for not paying attention to others, while they were trying to settle the argument between just two of them. Of course his father just needed to make the contest pure Viking-like. 'The last man or woman standing will be worthy enough to have my son's heart and hand!' – the King had said to the room full of warriors and royals. Even if Hiccup didn't want to marry any of those who were there, he couldn't help but admit that the all-out fight was pretty impressive. Well, at least nobody was killed or maimed too badly.

"So," Jack's somber voice brought him out of his thoughts, "Princess Camicazi is to become your wife?"

"What?" Hiccup blinked, before shaking his head wildly and making 'no-no' motions with his hands, "Are you kidding me? She is a Burglar, they hate men! She just wanted to have a good fight, though, she did ask my dad for a chest full of jewels for her victory, but she had no intentions to marry me. It would have been so gross." Hiccup shuddered, "To marry your childhood friend. Honestly."

The Berk Prince didn't notice the two other's male shoulders relaxed in their relief, as he shifted to stand between the Princes' beds, "I hope Elder threats you well?"

"Gothi had helped us a great deal. My wing is already hurting less." Hiccup didn't believe for a second the grimace that Toothless called a smile.

"That old hag is a torturer." Well, at least Jack was honest. Even if as blunt as ever, "I would have preferred you to be my nurse." The white-haired male practically purred, suddenly taking a hold of Hiccup's hand and tugging him closer to his bed. Toothless' hand immediately latched itself into Hiccup's another hand, tugging the smaller male to his side, "You pervert! Let go of my Hiccup!"

"Again you with your possessiveness! You have a problem, Scale Butt!" Jack jerked Hiccup back.

"Yes, and my problem is you!" Toothless pulled harder, and Hiccup could here bones in both of his hands cracking.

"Enough!" Hiccup freed his hands and smacked both Princes on heads, earning yelps from them. "Quit it, with your behavior!"

The two Princes flinched and bowed their heads, and Hiccup could see that they were really sorry. The teen let out a long suffering sigh, before pecking Princes in their heads, where he hit them, "Get well soon." And with that Hiccup left the medical ward, leaving two Princes gapping after him.

"…"

"He kissed me first!" Jack cried out in triumph, but was quickly silenced with Toothless who lunged at him, tackling the other male to the ground.

Hiccup stood behind the door, a small smile tugging at his lips as he listened to the struggle in the ward accompanied by pained yelps and grunts.

Gothi will have some fun tonight, treating her royal victim- patients.

And… maybe he will check on the two Princes later. Maybe.

...

* * *

_If you reached the bottom that means you didn't close this fic after the first couple of sentences! I need every opinion about if I should make a multi-chapter fic in this Royal AU. I have a few ideas (the meeting between Toothcup or Frostcup as a prequel, or a continuation of this time stream as a sequel), beside the other couple of one-shots in this AU. And I just want reviews. What? I'm greedy for attention! ;D (Nobody loves me D;)_

_DF._


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